Mantras to get you through the day

Sometimes we need a push, just a little extra motivation to get up and going in the mornings. I have decided to use daily mantras and/or quotes to help get me up and going. What is a mantra? A mantra is a word or statement that is repeated frequently to aid concentration in meditation. The Veterans Administration, San Diego Healthcare System conducted a study regarding this matter, results were pulled from www.prevention.com. In it, 66 volunteers were taught to repeat a mantra. The mantra could be any they chose and they were asked to repeat it as often as they wanted. Six months later, 83% had employed their mantras to help them stay calm, and 75% were able to ease stress, frustration, and tension. "Mantras are a Jacuzzi for the mind," says lead researcher Jill Bormann, PhD, RN. "And unlike many stress-reduction techniques, you can literally use this anywhere, anytime.". So there you have it! Here are a few of my favorites to get you started. I would love to hear your mantras, please comment or write to me in the Ask Alice section of this blog.

"Keep calm and carry on"

"You got this"

"This is temporary"

"Every little thing gonna be alright"

"Just get through today, that is all you have to do"

"Hakuna Matata"

"It will all work out"

Get Your Best Night's Sleep

Studies have shown that not getting enough sleep can have effects on your mood, and overall health, so for all you insomniacs out there here is your guide to a better nights sleep.

Go for a walk. You don’t want to do this right before bed since the endorphin's will kick in and keep you awake. Instead, try to go for a walk after work, when you get home.

Cut out caffeine and alcohol before bed. Caffeine is known to cause sleep issues and alcohol is known for putting you to sleep, but then interferes with your sleep throughout the night.

Turn down the temp. If you are like me then you know that it is impossible to get to sleep when you feel all hot and sticky. I suggest turning down the temp (ideal temp should be about 65° F or 18° C). During the summer months, to keep utility costs down, we use a portable swamp cooler in our room. It works perfect and take just a few minutes to cool down the room.

Take a hot bath. Taking a hot bath can help calm your mind before drifting off to sleep.

Making your bed. Make sure that you make your bed as comfortable as possible. We occasionally put our sheets and pillow cases in the freezer, then we make the bed right before we're ready to turn in for the night.

Keep your bedroom dark. Turn off the electronics, instead try to read for a few minutes (I will recommend a book below) and pull down the blinds. We use blackout sheets that we hung from the top rod. These block out all light coming from our windows.

Try to have a system. What I mean by this is having a set time that you want to be in bed by each night and a set time that you want to get up in the morning. According to www.helpguide.org , sticking to a consistent sleep-wake schedule helps set your body’s internal clock and optimize the quality of your sleep.

I hope you all have enjoyed and these tips help you. And, as promised, I recommend the following . . 

Go the Fuck to Sleep by Adam Manbach

  

Into the mind of depression - My own personal hell

Living with depression is all easier said than done and nobody is perfect. I like to focus on the positive and what you can do to better your life and get through the tough days, but I am not perfect and I have my moments. I wanted to let you all in on what it is like in my mind when the emotions hit. I wrote down all the thoughts that were traveling through my mind, hopefully this gives those that don't understand a look as to what we are going through. Here is a glimpse inside my own personal hell...

Sometimes I don’t know what I want or what I mean, I am just as lost as everyone else trying to read my mind. This feeling is so overwhelming, I can't fight the tears, and what's worse is that I have no idea why. I have no clue as to what triggered this emotion and no idea on how to fix what is broken. I feel alone, I just want to hide and shut the world out. 

This feeling is so much that it hurts. My throat closes up and I feel like can't breathe. I hate knowing that I will call out of work again because I just can't handle it. I wish that I could bring myself to apply for more jobs that I want and the jobs that will make more, but knowing that I cannot commit to these jobs, knowing that the stress alone will be enough to break me has held me back. 

This is something that I would gladly give up, if given the choice but instead it is something that I need to go through. The mental breakdown is usually followed by a crying panic attack that won't stop. Sometimes it's quick, and my tear ducts dry up, and it's over and other times this last's for days or weeks at a time. This wave of emotions screws up everything in my life. It messes with work, because I am constantly having to call out. It screws me up socially because all I want to do is crawl up in bed and shut the world out. My husband has been amazing and has stood by my side through all of this. He is always trying to cheer me up and reassure me that everything will be okay. I am so grateful for him, but sometimes you can't simply be cheered up. Things can make you smile, but at the end of it you feel damaged. The last thing that I ever want to do is let this affect my home life, but the sad truth is that it does, I am just lucky enough to have help and someone that will stand by my side through it all. I realize that I am not alone and that there are others out there that are feeling the same way and going through the same struggles but in my own mind I feel alone.  I know that something is wrong and that something needs to change, but right now I cannot focus on the day, let alone on how to better myself in the future. 

I am always trying to look at the bright side of things, but today I cannot see one. Instead, all that I see are obstacles that are preventing me from having the life I love and want to live. I don’t want my husband to have to cheer me up every day, even though I know he is willing, I fear that eventually he will become exhausted and I will lose my best friend. Thankfully, I see us together forever, and he reassures me that he would never leave my side, but today my mind is terrified that my depression will conquer all and that I will lose everything. 

I know that there are people who do not understand, my own family does not believe in depression or stress, "it's all in your mind", they would say. I can't imagine not having my husband to turn to and it makes me sad that there are people in this world that still feel alone and ashamed and I wish that I could help all of you. I wish that this world was filled with life, love and happiness and it's not. When I see or hear of something sad, it makes me genuinely upset and sends me into a funk, that is about the only time I can pinpoint a trigger. 

I wish that I was Supergirl and I could save the world, I feel I am constantly carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders and it's not mine to carry. I should not let what I cannot change affect me, but it does and there are many things that are out of my reach. I do what I can with volunteering, and having a heart so full makes me a better person, but there is only so much I can do, only so much that I can take before I break. I am only human and I make mistakes, and I am not perfect, but I try to be.

..... All that I ask is that you please don’t judge me. #NoMoreTears

For those of you that are fighting please know that you are not alone, please feel free to contact me with all of your comments, questions and concerns. Ask Alice is now available for those of you needing advice. Together we can help fight this. And remember, when you need it, there is no shame in seeking help from a medical professional. 

Valentines Day Guide - Gifts, Sex and More!

Valentines Day 101:

With Valentines Day right around the corner we thought that we would create the ultimate guide for a relaxing and sensual night. Here are the basics of having a great Valentines Day!

Gifts: I love love love giving people gifts, especially my husband. I am very good at it and it makes me happy when I can spoil someone else and make their day. However, I have to admit that handmade gifts are my absolute favorite. For me it really is the thought that counts. I would love nothing more than a simple I LOVE YOU written in the snow. That being said a simple love letter is the perfect gift this Valentines.

If you have ever written a love letter to your crush then you know that is a simple yet effective way to communicate. Writing a love letter can make you giddy and give you the opportunity to express your feelings to those that you care about. There are several ways to go about a love letter and you have to decide what will be the best for you. Here are some ideas to get you started!

Love Letter Themes:

All the reasons you make me happy

The reasons we are compatible with one another

The little things that you do

15 Things I know and love about you

The 5 things you do in bed that drive me wild

How I see our future

Food: There is a false sense of food when it comes to the holidays. Everything needs to be planned and perfect, the meal needs to coordinate with the night and so on…Why is this? The last thing that I want to do on Sunday is spend the day cooking when I could be out enjoying. So here is my list of food to keep it simple. And don’t forget, Dessert First, Always.

Desserts:

Chocolate Covered Strawberries

Ice Cream

Pudding

Smoothies

Dinner:

Pizza

Sandwiches

Chinese

Sushi

The Date: It does not always have to be dinner and a movie. The date does not need to be magical and elaborate like on TV, get real. Instead, spend some time appreciating all the little things together. Need ideas? Be sure to check out the list below!

Go to a special place together, one that brings back the happy memories

Go on a hike

Take a shower or bath together, light some candles, turn on some tunes or just talk and let the steam, relax your muscles after that long hard week (pun intended).

Stay home and play games. One of my personal favorites is called strangers. You and your 'person' meet up, this can be anywhere, it can be at home or at the grocery store or anywhere you choose. The freakier the better. Pretend that you do not know each other and then get your flirt on. You have 10 min to convince the other person to go home with you, so work your magic!

If all else fails, there is always strip pong a sexy twist on beer pong, if you drink you loose one article of clothing until there is nothing left. This is such a fun game and it can be played with two or more people. Trust me, once you start drinking, no one will care if it's couples vs couples.  

Drinking and Smoking: Sure, you can have a good time without smoking or drinking, but do you really want to? Don’t you want to lose you inhibitions and let loose?! If you are like me then that answer is most definitely a YES. So without further ado, I bring to you the cocktail menu.

Signature Drinks:

His - 204

                2 oz. Gin

                3 oz. Ginger Ale

                Cucumber slices

               

Hers - Rooftop Lemonade

                2 oz. Vodka

                3 oz. Fresh squeezed lemonade

                Cucumber slices

                Lemon wedges

Signature Bud: Northern Lights - If you can get your hands on some for Valentines day this is the perfect Indica for that no care relaxed feeling.

Sex: This is what the night has been building up for, you both want it and have been craving this all day. Weather you choose to dress up or dress down, yeah, you know what we mean (wink), prepare yourself for a wonderful night of bliss. Turn the lights on or off, insert personal preferences here, chose the location, turn on some music, let your hair down, and let's get it on. Here are a list of our favorite sex positions and songs to make love to.

The Kama Sutra:

Doggy Style

Missionary

The Cat

The Waterfall

Girl On Top

Songs:

Marvin Gaye - Let's Get It On

Cisco - Thong Song

Trey Songz - The Neighbors Know My Name

Usher - Climax

Pretty Ricky - Grind On Me

R. Kelly - Bump N Grind

The Lonely Island - I Just Had Sex (Great song for the shower after)

After sex, what's next? How about more sex? You can also put on your favorite show to binge watch or play some video games, but whatever you do make the night yours!  

Music is my escape

I woke up feeling very overwhelmed and stressed. It was 5 AM and I was already on the verge of having a breakdown. I kept telling myself that today will be a good day and that I can handle this. I was still feeling this way when my husband woke up. He gave me a hug and told me that everything will be alright. He turned on some tunes and we got in the shower.

On our way in to work we listened to the radio, chiming in on the comments and questions from the DJ. We talked and sang along to the songs on the radio. By the time we got to work I was feeling just a little bit better, but it was not enough to last me all day. I got to work and tried to figure out what more I could do to ensure that the rest of my day got better. I put on my headphones and started working. A song came on my Pandora radio station that I hadn't heard in a long while. This made me smile. The song brought up some memories of when I was younger. I remembered the stress that I felt as a child and how I felt with it back when. I would sit up in my room and just listen to my favorite CD's and try to remember all of the lyrics in a song. I started to notice a trend and decided to keep at it.

When I am feeling very stressed and anxious I tend to avoid as much as possible. I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to work. I don’t want to listen to music. I don’t want to do much of anything, let alone be productive in any way, and this was how I was feeling. I knew that I needed to do something to help ease my mind and get me back on the right track. I turned off my Pandora, and pulled up my YouTube then searched. I searched for all the songs that I used to listen to when I was younger, the songs that helped me get through my teenage years. This did not stop until well after I came home, and was ready for bed. I was feeling much better. When we got home, we prepared for the night, we fed our pets and made the bed. We sat up for over an hour taking turns playing old songs that we could sing and dance to, songs that had meaning and made a difference in both our lives. I did it! I successfully changed the day around and had a great night, not to mention I had the best nights sleep.

If you are wondering why this is, here are some things that you may want to know. Music has a unique connection to our emotions through the brain. Listening to music causes the brain to release what is referred to as 'Dopamine', which is just a fancy word for the feel good chemical that your brain releases to the rest of your body. Dopamine motivates you in many ways, and rewards you with the release that your body needs. Still not convinced? There are other physical benefits of listening to music. Music has been known to reduce stress, anxiety, lower blood pressure, and positively affect your mood. Listening to music can help with memory as well. The university of California at Irvine found that students, test scores significantly improved after listening to music, specifically Mozart in this study. This is called 'The Mozart Effect'.

So what are some ways that you can introduce music into your daily life? It is such an easy thing to do, but as I mentioned earlier, sometimes you simply don’t want to do anything. Try to start easier, and put on a song that you love to sing and dance to. Start off by playing music in the morning when you wake up. Listen to music in the car and at work. Don’t be afraid to belt it out and sing along. Who knows you may be headlining the next karaoke night!